HE did it!!

As I sit in the car line waiting for his last day to be over, his last exam for 9th grade, I see him RUNNING OUT!  That smile.  That huge sigh of relief on his face!  He collapses in the back seat.  He did it!  He made it through one of his toughest years of school yet.  I mean, those other years haven't been easy but this year, it has been hell!  

I've been spending the last few days reflecting.  Somewhat depressed about how much we haven't accomplished.  How much more we could have done.  I'm the type of mom who really stays on top of things throughout the year.  Communicating with teachers, working on homework, studying.  I'm not striving for perfection by any means but I want to get the most out of his year, academically and socially.  

Then I snap back to reality.... HE (we) accomplished so much!  We went into the unknown, the first year of a new school, bigger responsibilities , bigger challenges, more accountability for his work and actions.  HE did it!  He took this school year and all of it's crazy challenges, the up and down emotional roller coasters and SMASHED IT.  

I cannot even begin to describe the love and pride that beams from my face and my heart.  I'm honored to be his mother.  This kid is amazing!!  If he has taught me anything it is to look at the good and bad in a situation.  To see what really matters!

"I will conquer the world!!"

                                                           YES YOU WILL!


P.S.  A shout out to my fellow Autism parents for helping me survive this school year.  For listening to me whine and always being there for support.  You know who you are!  

8 days!

In 8 days school will end.  This will be the end of our 1st high school year.  I'm relieved yet scared in many ways.  This year has been rough.  In more ways than one.  Socially he has made such huge progress.  He's stepped outside of his comfort zone.  Summer typically brings a more socially withdrawn kid.  No matter how much I have planned, how many fun things we do..  He typically resorts to sitting in front of a device.  This summer will be especially hard.  His friend (also autistic) of 4 years is moving.  We've chatted about it.  He knows it's coming.  Separate post on that later..  

He left me a ton of paperwork to filter through this morning.  As I looked over the leftover notebooks he had doodled in, the countless graded papers, I found a folder.  It was a folder they had compiled throughout the year with feelings, things about themselves.  The 1st page was hard to read but expected.

"I do not have a good filter.  I prefer not to have friends in any other classes.  I'm sensitive and prefer others not to talk about me."

There were many many pages.  One thing I noticed throughout, he seemed to gain a bit of confidence.  That last page hit me hard.  My heart swells just seeing and knowing how far he has come this school year.  Yes, it has been hard.  I know it will only get harder.  Academically, socially, physically.  Difficult, depressing.  He strives to find his place.  Some days he really doesn't care to find that place.  But that last page................

Don't judge somebody, unite with them, become a friend.